
In one hour, I am teaching my first group yoga class of of the new decade and my first after starting this blog. I’m nervous! I have decided to make my Journey to the Center of My Own Disenchantment public, and in so doing, I feel a new level of accountability. Now I have to really start walking the walk if I don’t want to be a total fraud. Oh, wait…I wrote a previous post about that already, didn’t I? Ah, yes. It was the very first one! In case you missed it, you can check it out here.
Honestly, the nervousness is kind of a nice feeling. I haven’t felt nervous about teaching yoga in, I don’t know, fifteen years or so? Methinks that may be the sign of a wee bit of complacency.
So here is my plan. In the minutes that remain before I head into the studio, the first thing I plan on doing is re-reading the posts I have written so far. My hope in doing so is that I will, quite literally, keep my word–to you, dear reader, to my students, to myself. And while teaching, I will pay very particular attention to my own words with an emphasis on not falling into old habitual language or descriptions that feel stale.
I will also make sure to arrive early enough to sit quietly for a chunk of time before anyone else arrives and to offer up my prayer for good strong boundaries that I mentioned here in post 3.
Mostly though, I just really want to pay attention. To what is happening in my mind and all around me. To what I see happening in my students’ bodies and what I feel happening in my own. To the feeling of the floor beneath my feet, the breath in my lungs, and how unbelievably lucky I am to be doing what I do.
Wish me luck!
Post-script added after the class: I did it! That’s right! I actually taught an entire class without once using the phrase, “Send your sitting bones back.” It can be done!
I love each post and truly admire your bravery. It takes real courage to put yourself out there in such an honest way. Walk that walk and keep going!
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Thank you, Phuong!!
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You are not a fraud my dear Lauren! I think with yourself inquiry you are doing exactly what Yoga asks of us. Aware, present and authentic. Be gentle with yourself. In the meantime, I’m trying to eliminate the phase navel to spine. It’s so much more than just that!!!
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Thanks, Jeannette! Yes! “Navel to spine” is one I need to pay attention to as well, especially as it tends to make students hold their breath. Thank you for that reminder!
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